10 Steps to a University Kitchen

A benefit of living in halls is the cleaning service. Once a week you have to clean the kitchen so that it is clean enough for the cleaner to clean. A logical process, I know. But what makes the communal space of the house so special?

Them Gainz

1. Bags of protein

If you’ve lived with males at one time or another there will probably be several bags of these floating around.

all the mugs

2. Mugs, mugs, everywhere.

I can say this because I am one of the culprits, there are mugs and glasses on virtually every flat surface. God forbid if you want a clean one.


3. Unidentified cooking

Is it a casserole? Is it a soup? There’s always that one mysterious pan of…something that no one claims ownership to.


4. Pre-drinks remnants

Its simply not a student residence unless there is squash and 1.5 litre bottles of vodka lying around.

Asda presents

5. Supermarket Crates

Because why the hell would Asda need them?! Its like a little free gift from the delivery man.

angry notes

6. Passive Aggressive Notes

These are generally left over from that one time one of your house-mates broke down, unable to adjust to the new idea of what clean should look like.


7. That have been ignored

“But I had so many lectures today and I’ve been really busy and cleaning just doesn’t feature in my schedule.”


8. Barely alive plants

Because you wanted the kitchen to look nice and homely and forgot that this would require watering said plants.


9. Takeaway Boxes

Its just not a night out until you’ve come home and gorged yourself on pizza at 3am.

the milk rota

10. Some form of democracy

Necessities such as milk require everyone to chip in, bringing the house together in a modern day equivalent of Communist living. However, some people “don’t drink milk” and therefore should not be trusted.

Fingers crossed I don’t get salmonella!




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